True cultural awareness begins when we learn to see people, appreciate our differences, and listen to their experiences.
“I don’t see color.”
That was her response to an interview question.
She was overqualified in experience and nearly every other area listed in the job description. But her response revealed a significant gap in the very skills she would need to do the job well. If hired, she would be facilitating relationships and serving clients who were primarily Students of Color in a college environment. Her answer suggested that she had much to learn about interracial communication, cultural awareness, and the skills needed to build trusting cross-cultural relationships.
She didn't get the job.
Her intention was likely to communicate, “I love everyone the same.” But the Black man interviewing her heard something very different: “I don’t see you. I don’t recognize that your experiences may be different from mine.”
Good intentions do not automatically translate into effective communication. What we intend to communicate and what another person actually hears are not always the same. Learning to recognize that difference is an essential part of developing cultural competence.
The Problem with Saying “I Don’t See Color”
The problem with the color-blind philosophy is that it can whitewash the beauty of our colorful, diverse world and the people who inhabit it.
We don't look at flowers, trees, sunsets, or the clothes we wear and say, “I don't see color.” Color and variety are part of what make these things beautiful and appealing to us. We notice their differences, appreciate their unique qualities, and enjoy the variety they bring to our lives.
We were created with senses, including sight, that help us perceive, experience, and understand the world around us. Yet when it comes to people, it has become common in the United States, particularly among some light-skinned people, to claim that we don't see color.
Why do we celebrate color and variety in the natural world but sometimes treat differences among people as something we should pretend not to see?
People are more than the color of their skin. But skin color, like culture, can be part of a person's identity and can influence how that person experiences the world. Pretending not to notice these differences doesn't make them disappear. It can make us less able to understand one another.
Color-Blind Thinking Doesn't Make Discrimination Disappear
The idea of color blindness has a long and complicated history in the United States. It is important to distinguish the goal of treating people equally from the practice of ignoring race and its consequences. The idea that people should receive equal treatment regardless of race existed long before the Civil Rights Act of 1964. In the decades surrounding the civil rights movement, however, these ideas became central to national debates about equality and discrimination.
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 made significant forms of discrimination illegal, including employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, and national origin. The Fair Housing Act of 1968 and the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974 extended important legal protections in housing and credit. Other federal and state laws have addressed discrimination in education, employment, voting, and public life.
These laws were necessary because equal treatment was never a reality for everyone.
Discrimination did not disappear when it became illegal. Some discriminatory practices became less explicit and more difficult to identify. Hiring decisions, unequal pay, unequal access to opportunities, and other forms of differential treatment continued to affect people whose qualifications and contributions deserved fair consideration.
Since our founding, people often hired, promoted, and favored those who looked like them, spoke like them, shared their backgrounds, or simply made them feel comfortable. These practices could exclude qualified people who did not fit the familiar mold. Civil rights laws and legal challenges helped hold employers and other institutions accountable for discriminatory decisions.
“Liberty and justice for all” was our pledge. Yet discrimination and unequal opportunities have continued to affect People of Color, women, and especially women of color who may experience overlapping barriers.
The number of laws enacted to address discrimination is itself a reminder that equal treatment has required sustained effort. The laws matter, but laws alone cannot teach us to understand one another, recognize our assumptions, or build healthy relationships across cultural differences.
We cannot address what we refuse to see.
Who Can Afford Not to See Color?
For many white Americans, race may not be something they need to think about in their daily interactions. They may rarely wonder whether their skin color will influence how they are treated in a store, whether their name will affect a job application, or whether their cultural practices will be misunderstood by people in positions of authority.
Many People of Color do not have the same luxury.
This does not mean every white person has an easy life, it just means that the color of their skin is not adding to the challenges faced. Nor does every person of color have the same experiences. People's lives are shaped by many factors, including family, economic circumstances, gender, geography, education, and culture.
It does mean that a person's experience of race can differ significantly depending on how others perceive and respond to them.
When we say, “I don't see color,” we may be expressing a sincere desire to treat everyone equally. But we may also be overlooking experiences of discrimination and exclusion that are very real to others.
Color-blind thinking can become people-blind and culture-blind thinking when it prevents us from noticing the experiences, identities, and circumstances that shape another person's life.
Rather than being color-blind we should strive to be culturally sighted.
I signed up for a university program that matches international students with a local family to experience the American holiday traditions. It was Christmas and I received a list of five students, all Muslim that would be attending our Christmas dinner. Being culturally competent meant that I made dishes without any pork in them and clearly labeled any dishes that did have pork. It also meant that as we read the Christmas story, we listened to the students when they chimed in excitedly and said, “Oh! We know about Isa!” (Jesus) “He is in our story too!” We created the space to talk about Isa, and what they knew about Isa and the Christmas story. The same students came year after year to our celebrations, even asking to bring friends and even parents on one Mother’s Day, all because we made accommodation that honored them.
Treating everyone the same is not the goal, treating people the way they want to be treated is the goal. When people feel seen, heard, and honored we have gone beyond toleration to celebration and friendship.
Recognizing and honoring differences is not the same as treating people unfairly. We can value equal dignity and opportunity while also acknowledging that people have different needs, histories, experiences, and cultural identities.
That is where meaningful cultural awareness begins.
Seeing Color Without Stereotyping Culture
When we choose not to see color, we risk failing to see the person. But there is another mistake we must avoid: assuming that a person's appearance tells us everything we need to know about them.
People are more than their skin color, ethnicity, or culture. Each of us is shaped by multiple cultural layers, including family, generation, region, education, faith, work, economic condition, and personal experience. These layers influence how we communicate, build relationships, interpret events, and understand the world.
Two people who share the same racial or ethnic identity may have very different cultural experiences. Likewise, people who look different from one another may share important values, experiences, and beliefs.
Cultural competence requires more than recognizing difference. It requires curiosity, humility, and a willingness to learn how people understand themselves.
Rather than deciding who someone is based on our assumptions, we can ask questions, listen to their answers, and allow them to tell us their own stories.
The goal is not to replace color blindness with stereotyping. It is to become more fully aware of the people in front of us.
Four Ways to Move from Color Blindness to Cultural Awareness
If the words “I don't see color” have ever come out of your mouth, I encourage you to take a different approach. You don't have to feel ashamed of what you intended to communicate. Instead, let that moment become an opportunity to learn.
Here are four ways to begin.
1. Let your eyes see the person in front of you.
Notice and appreciate the diversity around you. Recognize that people may have experiences different from your own. Don't assume that your way of seeing the world is fully informed, the only way, or the standard by which everyone else should be understood.
2. Let your mind become curious.
Ask yourself what you may not know about another person's life and experiences. Be willing to examine your own cultural assumptions. Curiosity creates room for understanding, while assumptions can close the door before a conversation even begins.
3. Let your mouth ask questions—and your ears do the work.
Make yourself available for conversations about culture, race, family, faith, life, and even politics from another person's perspective. Position yourself as a learner and listener, not a debater preparing to win an argument.
You might begin with a simple invitation to coffee. Ask about someone's experiences, listen without immediately comparing them with your own, and resist the urge to explain away what you hear. You don't have to agree with every interpretation to listen respectfully and learn something meaningful.
4. Let your heart remain open.
Experience people, places, and ideas beyond your familiar circles. Read books and articles written by authors and scholars of color. Attend cultural events. Build friendships across racial and cultural differences. Learn about experiences that may be unfamiliar to you.
Much of the world, including much of the United States, is not a white world. Many communities recognize, express, and celebrate cultural and racial differences rather than treating them as something to ignore.
We have an opportunity to join that celebration—not by assuming we already understand one another, but by developing the relationships that help us learn.
The Invitation: Truly See One Another
Developing cultural awareness is not about assigning blame or making people feel guilty for what they don't know. It is about recognizing that we all have more to learn and that our relationships become healthier when we are willing to learn from one another.
We can honor the dignity we share as human beings without pretending that our experiences are identical. We can celebrate our common humanity while appreciating the cultural differences that make each person's story unique.
We can move beyond the limitations of color-blind thinking toward the skills of seeing, understanding, adapting, and building meaningful relationships across cultural divides.
Let your eyes see what—and who—is in front of you. Let your mind be curious about their experiences. Let your mouth ask questions. Let your ears listen. Let your heart remain open.
It begins with truly seeing each other.
Continue Your Journey Toward Cultural Awareness
My books, 5 Blinders to Seeing Color and Loving Our Neighbors: Transformative Relational Communication, can help you take the next steps toward greater cultural awareness and competence.
Whether you want to strengthen your personal relationships, serve your community more effectively, become a better leader, or build healthier relationships across racial and cultural differences, the journey begins with a willingness to see, learn, and love our neighbors well.
